refugees
at Thailand.
(
An excerpt from a Memoir “ Life’s Changes
“ )
of Vietnamese veteran Nguyen Minh Chau
“
Life is a long way of melancoly,
So
few with happiness, only with
much misery. ”
Fellow Vietnamese
veterans and dear friends,
Every year at
Halloween I remember my first step on this land
of freedom; a place of temporary survival. I was
very fortunate, among thousands whom were not
lucky of never finding liberty. There were those
who gave their lives to the sunken boats as a
result of high ocean winds and large waves. If
not, then it was the pirates who killed them or
sank their boats. Among these unfortunates there
was Mr. Canh (my assistant of administration
from Duc Hoa District, Hau-Nghia province), who
drowned swimming towards the Thai beach. There
was also another one of my personal assistants
who was thrown into the ocean for resisting the
pirates. They insulted his wife. Out of respect
for the deceased and not wanting to remind the
family of this tragedy, I choose not to mention
their full names.
These two District
Administrative assistants were capable and well
qualified in what they did. They helped me
tremendously in managing operations of the
District, Villages and Hamlets. Their short
years of life made me sad. However, it was
comforting to hear from my previous employees
that their wives and children had settled
peacefully in foreign lands. My wife and I would
like to send our congratulations. We would like
to think that the men could finally rest
peacefully.
Recently the former
Colonel Ngo Van Bui, former Trang Brang District
Chief of Hau Nghia province, phoned me to say
that Mrs. Canh led her children across the
ocean. They settled and established a
successive business in Southern California. We
would like to congratulate Mrs. Canh and her
children.
The tale of
crossing the Ocean.
Being a handicapped
soldier, the North Communists released me early
from “re-education” camp, a POW camp. For over a
year of seemingly prolonged months, I hid from
local Viet Cong. They searched to capture me for
a terrible revenge because my troops at Di An
District destroyed all of their infrastructures.
Twice my wife found ways for me to escape by
boat at Nha Trang but twice the plans were
discovered. Thus I had to return to Sai Gon.
There was a third opportunity to escape at Ca
Mau (southern tip of Viet Nam). However due to a
long delay, I had to abandon the plan.
Finally for the
fourth time, I made it on a small boat just a
bit over nine meters in length. My
brother-in-law organized this escape to depart
from Vam Lang, Go Cong province. The trip cost
me a compass, normally used by fishermen, and to
serve as a navigator to guide the small boat
towards Thailand’s gulf.
All the women and
children hid in the lower cargo compartments
while a few men disguised as fishermen sitting
on deck. We also took turns driving the boat and
helping to getting rid of water when a big wave
would make it into the boat.
We started on a bus
from Xom Cui Cho Lon (a section of Chinatown in
Sai Gon) to the District of Can Giuoc. From
there we walked to Can Giuoc River to transfer
onto a small boat, which traversed the river
during daytime. When our boat engine started,
the local Viet Cong discovered we were boat
people so they fired a few shots with their
AK-47s to stop us. Our driver applied full
engine thrust and we escaped.
We made it out to
the ocean, as it was getting dark, with the city
lights of Vung Tau barely visible in the
distance. On top of the Big Mountain behind us,
there were bright spotlights. These lights
helped orient us to head out further into the
ocean.
Our tiny boat, which
was equipped with a powerful engine, carried a
small group of people on board. We quickly and
safely reached the international water at break
of dawn the next day. Everyone on board breathed
sighs of relief because we escaped the hands of
communists.
At that moment I
thought if I drowned on this ocean quest, then
we would be able to die in cleaner water. Better
to die here than to die regretfully in water
that stank of communist blood. Now all I had to
do was keep this boat on course and continue our
journey in the middle of this vast beautiful
ocean; a beautiful sky that night. We had passed
the moment of fear and no more:
Uneasy feelings … oh
how many worries
In all directions
fleeing, yearning to free from danger
Distracted, absent
minded from looking, from observing
The moon, stars, clouds,
water … to make poetry
(Excerpt from my wife’s
poetry titled “Crossing the Ocean”)
Now we were adrift
on international water; our mind at ease. At
that moment, I remember those bright lights from
Vung Tau and thank them for helping me gain
direction for heading out to sea.
A few memories
crossed my mind that made me sad. They made me
remember the times when I was driving my Jeep up
that Big Mountain for a scenic drive. It was a
beautiful sunrise I remembered overlooking Vung
Tau beach from top. This was the early months of
1965 when the 3rd Marine Corps
Battalion spent a week off to rest at Bai Dau
beach, Vung Tau. It was a break for us from an
exhaustive three months of fighting at Phu Quoc
island of 4th Corps and another two
months at Binh Gia jungle of 3rd
Corps, a mountainous area.
It was the beginning
of 1965 when the war intensified due to several
well trained fighting Communist divisions sent
from the North into Tactical Regions I and II.
This was the North’s tactic to infiltrate our
existing presence in remote area along the Hoang
Son Mountains.
Several units of
Vietnam Marine Corps and Vietnam Airborne had to
march the long years of hardship to find and
destroy Viet Cong units. Suddenly I remembered
the days when our comrades-in-arms would march
together in all four directions of tactical
regions. It was also an opportunity to view the
many beautiful scenes of Vietnam, a country that
today I began to abandon it and not never
knowing of a return date.
Around one o’clock
in the second morning when our small boat
continued to ride the ocean waves, we were hit
by a strong storm of high wind and large waves.
Ocean water splashed on to the boat so all men
were busy draining out the water. We saw death
at close proximity. But I had to remain calm to
drive this boat in cutting the waves and moved
forward.
After four days
adrift on the ocean we ran out of drinking
water. With a lot of luck we were rescued by a
Thai boat. The captain of the fishing boat saw
the small size of our boat with women and
children aboard. If it was not for that captain,
then we would not survive more large waves and
surely we would be good meals for the big
sharks. Our group as boat people had to
accompany the fishing boat for two weeks as they
continued to fish. Their plan was to head for
Singapore to sell their catch and also let us
off. Within two weeks on board this fishing
boat, we were fed and were treated very well.
When the Thai
fishing boat approached Singapore beach, a
patrol airplane spotted us boat people so they
reported to the authority. We were uneasy and
anxious most of the day waiting for a response,
allowing us to enter or not. Afterwards, not
only did Singapore did not let the fishing boat
enter to sell their fish but they sent a patrol
ship to escort us back out to Thai and
Malaysia’s water.
The captain did not
dare come near Thai’s beach to let us off. He
also requested that we do not let Thai authority
know that it was his boat that assisted us. He
personally instructed his sailors to make a raft
for us to sail to the beach. Women and children
were seated on top while the men and male
teenagers swim along side to push the raft into
land.
Because my left arm
and leg were weak, I dropped a small bag
containing clothes and some extra under garment
I wore during this trip. When arriving at the
beach, I only had a torn (at the back) pair of
shorts.
Till now I regret
loosing those clothing, which I wore from South
to North prison camps, from North returning to
the South. Each time changing POW prison camps
it was also these clothes. Three times
attempting to escape and the fourth and last
time, a success, I was also wearing these
clothes. My plan was when arriving to the USA. I
would keep them as a precious souvenir, a
historical antique of my life’s journey filled
with misery.
Approaching the
land of freedom.
We approached
Thailand’s beach safely and felt so happy, so
emotional that we were still alive.
Enthusiastically, I took a long deep breath with
ease on this land free of communism. From now on
I could live safely and free, although far and
in a strange place. Other boat people like me I
thought must feel the same happiness; as if
reborn because escaping death while crossing
this ocean.
My fate was now at
ease, but my wife and children were left behind.
Thus my feelings were troubled and worried,
missing my wife and children, and missing my
homeland not knowing of an opportunity to
return. Great sadness I had because:
With just
this body … without a country and family
Lost in a
strange land … looking, searching for
freedom
My country
small and in poverty
But nowhere
is to compare to Viet Nam, my home
----------------------------------------------------------
This body far
from home, my loved-ones left behind
Lots of
sadness with so few happiness; my life
in exile.
(Excerpt from
my wife’s poetry titled “Wandering on
the ocean”)
Where we beached was
a district located on the southern tip of
Thailand. Across the river there was Malaysia’s
territory. Local authorities allowed us boat
people to temporarily settle on top of a public
stage. This was a place for public entertainment
on holidays or on weekends and was thus located
in downtown.
With the spreading
news of boat people from Vietnam arriving here,
Thai citizens including men, women and children
in turn came in larger crowd to watch us. They
spoke in Thai, pointed their fingers at us, and
laugh at us boat people. We did not understand
what they were saying. It was quite humorous for
me as well as if they were watching a band of
monkeys in a circus. Perhaps, the people here
had never seen Vietnamese people before.
From an adult to a
small two year old girl, everyone of us boat
people were burned-out because of mal-nutrition,
lack of sleep and of dehydration. The weather
was scorching hot at daytime and deafening cold
at night. Personally for me being a guide
sitting on top of the bow for four straight days
and nights. It was under direct sunlight and
cold nights so my face was broken with blisters
and darkened like an Indian.
One funny story that
I never forget was that every time moving across
back and forth on stage, I had to place my hand
behind my butt to cover the torn pants. The torn
was getting bigger with each time I move. A Thai
lady teacher next to the stage noticed. Out of
pity and also humor she gave me an old,
bright-yellow pants. By cutting the pant legs I
wore it like a pair of comfortable shorts.
It was such a
feeling of self-pity I felt! Just a few years
ago I was a high-ranking Marine Corps officer.
Also I was a District Chief managing an entire
administration and commanding soldiers under my
supervision. Now I am but a body without
citizenship, homeless and no career. Moreover, I
did not even have a piece of clothing for
shelter.
However, I had hoped
that Americans would accept me into their
country as refugee status and from there I would
put all my efforts to building a new life.
To the
promise land I shall come
With
strong efforts, I would find a new home.
Songkla refugee
camp.
Within the period
that we boat people stayed at Tarkpay District,
Thailand, we were given food. Also the locals on
occasions gave us food so we were not worried of
hunger and thirst. However we were most worried
whether a higher authority would allow us to
stay.
After three weeks of
providing entertainment for the locals on public
stage at Tarkpay District, we boat people were
allowed by Thailand authority to enter a refugee
camp at Songkla, South of Bangkok. It was
indescribable joy because Tarkpay District
authorities intended to pull us out to sea. At
that time the general order was not accepting
any more boat people.
A few years before,
Songkla refugee camp located more inland.
Because of a growing number of boat people,
Thailand authority had to move the camp near the
beach, with more space. The existing rows of
barracks were not enough to house new comers.
Thus we had to beg or borrow money from existing
boat people who came before us. They had money
because of support from relatives abroad. With
the money we bought bamboo and palm leaves to
build a simple roof for shelter from sun and
rain. Also we built decks to sleep on.
Living conditions
were truly dirty because of the constant flies
and mosquitoes everywhere. It was easy for boat
people to catch many forms of illnesses. The
camp lack sufficient restrooms to provide for
the amount of crowd existed. Pity to those stood
in long lines and could not wait for their
turns. They had to squat in the middle of the
field, in the distance without anything to
provide shielding for privacy, to take care of
their urgent needs.
Everyday we boat
people were given food like meat, fish and sugar
by the UNHCR. It was sufficient for daily life.
Thailand’s rice, sweet fragrance and good, were
given in plentiful amount. Looking at the left
over rice that had to be discarded, I felt sorry
for my wife and children at home. They had to
eat oatmeal, hard like rocks, and did not have
enough to eat so they were malnourished.
Personally I had
lived in a poor condition during my childhood.
But never had I observed lack of food, lack of
clothing and basic needs for the daily lives of
Vietnamese people, under the heartless communist
regime.
While waiting for an
interview from representatives of different
countries, I dedicated time and effort in
learning English. Through reviewing newspapers
and books, I brushed up on English vocabularies.
My English skills then were enough for
conversational; thanks to having an opportunity
before to work with American advisors.
Nevertheless, my basic kills were more than many
others, who did not know a single English nor
French word. A few people would bring their
English books to me for tutoring. Feeling like a
good opportunity for me to learn and review my
English, I readily accepted to help out. Thus
they respected me like a teacher.
Now I felt a bit of
a humor in that it reminded me of a common
saying “Within a group of blind people, the
one-eye person was the King;” and so I was.
In addition, I also
taught French because in the past I studied with
the French system. By teaching English and
French I was able to get by the two daily meals.
It was enough to comfort my feelings from
loneliness at this refugee camp.
Within the time
living at Songkla refugee camp, I had written a
few letters to friends. It was to announce this
good news of escape. Moreover it was my
intention to ask for some money; to buy new
clothes for coming to America. But I was too
bashful to ask in writing.
Receiving the first
letter I was extremely happy. It also came with
US$50 from Warrant officer Phang Van Nguyen,
previously in charge of current affairs at Di An
District. He was happy to hear from me. In his
letter he also expressed his apologies for not
following my order of staying behind to defend.
Instead of staying, he left for a refugee boat
before April 30th.
Hearing this I very
much sympathized and understood him. At that
time even Leaders such as many Generals and
high-ranking officers abandoned the country and
escaped. For a small District like Di An,
loosing one Warrant officer was nothing in
comparison. The reason for Mr. Phang leaving,
although he had great respect for me, was
because of his experience with Viet Minh. He
witnessed their lies and had often told these
stories to my wife and me. His experience was as
an immigrant from the North in 1954, after the
Treaties at Geneva,
Switzerland. He was then a
Corporal in a French Commando unit, stationed in
the North.
Also I had received
US$50 from former Admiral Cang. A total of
US$100 in Thailand at the time was a
sufficiently large amount for me to buy new
clothes.
Other than those two
replies, I did not receive any others, from
those whom were very close and respected my wife
and me. Such a disappointment! Only during time
of hardships would you know the true meaning of
“ friendship.”
Mr. Phang passed
away because of heart complications; after ten
years of residence in Denver, Colorado. Till now
I missed him very much because he was close my
wife and me. Moreover, he was my savior when I
was in need at refugee camp. Admiral Cang was
also another kindness I would remember. He was
readily to help me in difficult times.
Restoration
Movement.
All Vietnamese
people were waiting for a restoration movement
from an outside influence. It was to reclaim the
South from the dictatorship ruling of red
demons. There were a lot of rumors within the
country that such a Colonel … had returned and
was leading a group of soldiers on the Mounts of
Ba Den, Tay Ninh Province; at another place one
General … returned to lead a Division of Marine
Corps at Rung Sat jungle.
Being in the AFRVN
for over twenty-one years and a District Chief
for eight years, I know a lot of military
commanders and administrators. Although a number
of leaders left the country before April 30th,
there were still a good number of them stayed.
Just alone in my Marine Corps Division, a Deputy
Commander of Division and many Brigade
Commanders went to POW camps. There was no one
left to lead remaining soldiers. The muddy and
small Rung Sat jungle could not be a location
for a Division to camp. Only civilians not
having any knowledge of military would believe
such a rumor.
Before the escape,
my wife and I already knew that there would be
some kind of movements, especially at refugee
camps. My wife predicted this so gave me the
following suggestion: “I understood that your
life as a soldier had so much suffering. From
being wounded that made you handicapped, to
imprisonment, to being hunted down after you
return home (escaping death), to hiding in many
places from the Communists; so much suffering.
Our children live in hardship. When they got
sick, I had to sell each piece of clothing to
afford medicine for them. Do you see it? Now our
family had to take on this suffering, this
burden alone. As a result of today, you and I
have nothing. Now is there anyone that can help
our family? You are now but a worn body. If you
arrive at a refugee camp and some ones would ask
you to join their movements, then just be done
with it and say no. When you arrive in America,
concentrate on finding a job to stabilize your
life so that you can send money home to save
your children. When you are successful in this
escape, then I will find a way for our children
to abandon this country. We will follow you so
that our children can have a stronger and better
future. The Communists I know will never let our
children go up with their lives.”
Listening to my
wife’s explanation and suggestions, I painfully
realized this was my life, a twenty-one year
dedication to the military career. It was such a
sad realization that made me tear up.
Just like our
prediction, the moment I entered into Songkla
refugee camp, Mr. Tuy Quoc Le, arriving from
France, had sent out an invitation. He invited
me, a number of ex-military officers and
administrators to his speech about his
restoration movement. He introduced himself as
an ex-military Air Force officer of the old
colonial French and that he belonged to Huu Van
Tran government, living in exile from Diem Dinh
Ngo Presidency. Mr. Tuy also revealed that he
would lead this movement, managed public
relations and had visited refugee camps to
recruit and motivate soldiers. There would be
two former Generals to head up the military
operations. Being a friend of Thailand’s Prime
Minister’s brother, Mr. Tuy gained the
permission of visiting any refugee camp to
recruit soldiers.
Knowing and trusting
that I was an ex-military Lieutenant Colonel and
District Chief, recently returned from Yen Bai
POW camp, he showed me pictures of the two
ex-military Generals. They were those I had
relationship with before. Also shown were
pictures of two ex-military Colonels, both my
friends, to prove and gain trust from people at
this refugee camp.
By which path,
through which country and who were the sponsors
of this restoration movement I asked Mr. Tuy
Quoc Le. He replied: “soldiers will go through
Cambodia and this movement was sponsored by the
Red China.” With some basic ideas, I told Mr.
Tuy that currently there were dozens of VN
Communist Divisions already stationed in
Cambodia region. Thus it would not be easy to
sneak through that path. One more point I did
not agree with was that VN Communists succeeded
due to Chinese Communists’ support. Thus it was
like asking a robber to help find your lost
items.
After a few weeks,
Mr. Tuy and an ex-military Colonel, my friend,
came to Songkla refugee camp to recruit
volunteers. They were preparing a list of
people.
At that time,
Songkla refugee camp was very much heated with
this restoration movement. The majority who
signed up were teenagers, a few former captains.
The rest were troopers. Many volunteers were
teenagers who have never been soldiers before
and they were proud to be heroes of a return; to
rescue the country of Vietnam.
My decisive response
was already not to participate. However, Mr. Tuy
and my friend, the ex-military Colonel, asked
that I tell others one thing. If asked, then I
should tell others these gentlemen were really
from the South and not the Viet Cong trying to
set a trap.
A few former
soldiers did ask me: “Lieutenant Colonel Chau …
how do you analyze this situation? We very much
would like to participate … let us know if this
was OK or not?”
This movement was a
fight of idealism; not certain of success or
failure. Thus I did not have an idea for others
whether to join or not. However I felt sorry for
those destined to return and said: “a return to
reclaim a country is a grand ideal for those who
loves their country … However, you should know
that this fighting will be a tremendous hardship
and a huge sacrifice. The choice is up to you …
I will not encourage you nor will I discourage
you.”
After establishing a
list, the two organizers of this organization
announced a date and time for pickup. They would
send automobiles to the camp. When the time
came, GMC trucks entered the camp and
announcements were made over loud speakers.
Names on the list were called so that they may
be transferred out of camp to another location.
Despite the loud speakers, only a small squad of
former soldiers showed up at the Camp
Headquarters. The rest of the hundreds of names
hid somewhere and refused to step up for role
call.
After officially
accepted to enter America, I was transferred to
Bangkok for further processing. Also there was a
health examination before entering the USA. At
Bangkok, I visited two former Colonels involved
in the restoration movement. They revealed to me
that in a few days, one former General would
arrive to lead. Also I met again a few of the
people who were staying at Songkla refugee camp
with me. They were all waiting for Mr. Tuy to
recruit more people from camps on the border of
Thailand and Cambodia.
At that time I felt
a tremendous love and respect for these men;
knowing that they would soon face a lot of
suffering and enduring. This was a big sacrifice
for loving their country. A few months after I
arrived to America, I heard that Mr. Tuy, the
entire staff including two ex-military Generals
and Colonels disagreed on various issues. They
departed in separate ways. All those who were
involved in this movement returned to America.
A few years later I
heard news that this organization returned to
Vietnam with another group, but was discovered
and thus it failed. Nevertheless, I admired Mr.
Tuy for his effort and to those with a noble
sacrifice for the country. They bravely enlisted
to reclaim the country. Years later, I had
received sad news that Mr. Tuy passed away in
France.
Waiting for an
interview.
Every boat people
must go through an interview by some members of
the interview team from the country of their
choosing to migrate. There were those who would
get qualified by their relatives’ sponsorship
(considered “1st” or “2nd
Status”). For those former soldiers like myself,
without relatives abroad, we were given “3rd
Status” for entry by the United States.
One thing that
frustrated me and I strongly disagreed with was
some American representatives ; those that I
thought were not VN Veterans. They were unfair
and did not treat us as soldiers of the Allied
Army with the U.S., who fought together side by
side with us during the Vietnam War.
When first entering
Songkla refugee camp, I had heard that: “First
priority was ladies … second was children …
third was dogs and cats … then men like us.”
Such was true. Within two months at Songkla, I
observed that those ladies of “graceful looking”
were most pleased to those blue eyes. That was a
positive factor to gain immigration status.
At the same time,
some former military officers were harassed with
lots of questions. It was too much I thought.
There were a few young ex-military officers who
were asked how much a Colt-12 weighed and how
long in inches it was.
It was sad for us as
former soldiers who lost their fight, their
country, and now in exile. Boat people recently
stepped foot onto Thailand. They were like being
reborn after a perilous escape by small boats on
the sea; our body and mind still exhausted.
Perhaps the names and ages of our wife and
children were not even clear, how remembering
such insignificant things. One young Lieutenant
shared his feelings with me: “Lieutenant Colonel
Chau! If they had asked me to describe the Colt,
then I would remember. But when asked of the
weight and length, I made a mistake so they said
I lied. They said if I was an officer, then why
not remember. They told me to wait for their
decision. That would take months from one
interview to the next … how frustrating!”
“Such events made
me think and feel sad for the fate of Vietnam, a
small country enduring the influences of world
politics. “
After the war,
allies abandoned a Vietnam to suffer.
Ex-military officers and employees of the
previous regime were sent to labor camps. We
were stripped of our dignity as human beings.
Our country’s leaders and our commanders of
South Vietnam must be busy with building their
new lives in foreign land. Thus they must not
had time to think of ways to rescue us, their
comrades-in-arms, in POW camps. America as well
as the international community had forgotten us.
Communists were free to persecute their
adversaries, the people of Saigon government.
Each day we waited
and listened for any news, any voice, from the
outside world. We hoped that with humanitarian
consciences, the peoples of the world would try
to protect and rescue us. However, our hopes
were a disappointment. At that moment I think,
it was as if Vietnam was separated by an iron
curtain, shielding us from the rest of the
world. It was free for the VN Communists, who
won the war, to do freely as they wish.
Vietnamese could not
live under such dictatorship so they risked
their lives to cross the ocean. It was an
exchange between small boats for a single word,
freedom.
We were ex-military
officers, insulted and persecuted by Communists.
We also felt dishonored now for asking a third
country to allow us entry. During an interview,
even the most young and timid soldiers had to be
nervous and scared. For if they failed this
interview, then they would have to wait for many
more months until the next opportunity.
With luck, a retired
US Army Major full-heartedly helped me. At the
moment, he was a high-ranking administrator of
the UNHCR for Thailand refugee camps. Although
he did not serve in Vietnam, he was an advisor
for Cambodia Army. He had heard that an
ex-military Lieutenant Colonel of Marine Corps,
returning from the North POW camp, reached a
refugee camp in Songhka. Thus he invited me to
this office to hear about my POW experience.
With details, I described the living conditions
at Yen Bai POW camps. During our conversation I
revealed my military rank, job duties and the
three US medals to prove myself of who I was.
Also I said that I had known Mr. White House,
currently Ambassador to Bangkok, before 1975 he
was a consul at Bien Hoa of 3rd
Corps. This retired US Army Major trusted my
words and thus helped me full-heartedly. Till
today I still remember a Marine Corps T-Shirt
that he gave me as a gift. He helped me in
getting an early interview.
Within the two
months in Songkla refugee camp, I personally
heard of barbaric acts carried out by Thai
pirates. During that time, many people died as a
result of being raped or of sunken ships while
crossing the ocean; such tragedy for a single
word, freedom.
During the years of
VN war, many of my comrades-in-arms spilled
blood fighting for freedom. Also now trying to
find their liberty, they continue to sacrifice
more in many ways when sailing small boats on
the sea. This was the consequence of a
dictatorship, Communist regime as they created
this never ending suffering for the unfortunate
people of Vietnam.
At the end, an
American family in Carmel at Monterey County of
California sponsored me. My feelings were mixed
of joy, sadness, and worrisome.
With a chance to
step foot in this land of freedom I was happy.
Without a career and handicapped, I was worried.
My wife and children were still not free at home
and we were separated for many months without
news. I was sad. Was there anything wrong with
my wife and children at home? I was so
frustrated!
Also I could not
forget my comrades-in-arms, those still in
refugee camps waiting for an interview from
American representatives to gain immigration
status as soon as possible. If for any reason
they had to stay for six months, a year or two
years, then it would be such a waste of time in
their life.
My fate was
now at rest
But still so
much worries, and sadness.
Former Lt. Colonel Nguyen Minh Chau of VNMC
